Overview of Last Week: European Football

March 27, 2015 9:00 am
-So, it was El Classico this weekend and everybody made sure that everybody else knew it.

-Real Madrid did a “Chelsea”: Dominate the game but don’t win it.
-Chelsea and Manchester City must be communicating telepathically. Whenever one wins, the other wins too. Whenever one drop points, the other one has to drop points too. Maybe they have started a campaign to keep the title race alive.
-Arsenal won 2-1. Same score as… probably the last 5 games.
-Diego Costa and Cesc Fabregas have decided to cool down their critics by combining for Chelsea’s second goal against Hull City. Congrats Lads. Even though it was not enough.
-There is a new trend in Football, the “Courtois”. It’s a very simple two step process. Step 1: Give away a goal by gifting the ball to an opponent. Step 2: Make some fantastic saves to make up for your previous error. Very easy. Without step 2 that process is carbon copy of the ‘Mignolet’ or the “Casillas”.
– Juventus won again and Tevez scored again. Sounds familiar? I think the Italian FA should hand them the title. Roma is loosing for fun and this title race is becoming as boring as the Bundesliga’s title race. (No judgment)
-Speaking of the Bundesliga, Bayern lost at home and Robben got injured. I wonder how can the injury be a blow for a team that has 40 top players in their squad. Robben might be fantastic but it shouldn’t be a blow for a team like Bayern, they not Chelsea (No offense). (Call New York personal injury lawyers for legal assistance to your injuries).
-Manuel Neuer just made his first major blunder. I guess Casillas should go to Germany and welcome him to the ‘Blunder’ club.
-After the slip up against Chelsea and the unintentional pass to Luis Suarez at the World Cup, Steven Gerrard brings us another magical moment: “THE 40 SECONDS RED CARD”. I wonder how he comes up with that stuff, maybe I should follow him on twitter and ask him.
-The Classico was supposed to be the battle between Ronaldo and Messi but it turned out to be the battle of the fantastic Suarez and the Amazing Benzema. I guess that people will now think twice before making El Classico about Ronaldo and Messi instead of making it about two great clubs.
Messi trying to win the ball from Pepe
-Juan Mata became the latest Manchester United’s player to rise up from the ashes with his 2 very good goals against Liverpool. I wonder how Van Gaal does it. Mourinho should definitely get tips from him; on how to bring players from the dead I mean.
-Real Madrid have finally realized that having your best defender fit doesn’t win you games. Defending properly and effectively does.
– Javier Mascherano showed us what a great actor he is in El Classico. If Sony doesn’t cast Aubameyang as the next Spiderman, they should definitely go for Mascherano. Or maybe he should be on Suicide Squad, I heard that they are down one actor.
– Loic Remy showed Mourinho that although he is no Diego Costa, he definitely has an eye for goals. I mean, scoring with his first touch? how many times has Diego Costa done that? Even if he has, was it as important as Remy’s goal?
-Inter Milan should realize by now that buying rejects from other clubs won’t solve their problems. They need to start pursuing players who are superstars in their clubs not the ones who super-bench warmers.
-So the UEFA Champions League draw took place and the results were again too familiar.
Barcelona were given a chance to kick PSG’s middle letter again, Real Madrid were drawn against the one team in the world they can’t beat, Bayern and Juventus were compensated for playing in leagues in which they win the title by Christmas with draws against the European Hypermarket and the Wanna Be Rich Boys of Europe.
                                                              ‘Supra Checkin’ out’.
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