Twelve Years to the day

Twelve Years to the day

The All Mighty Called you back

Your family were left in a state of shock and disarray.

The day I lost you, I came back home, pretending to be strong.

I tried so hard to show that nothing was wrong

Silently I went upstairs to your room, opened the door and hoping it was nothing but a bad dream

But when you were not there, I promise dad, I tried to hold back, but I had to scream

The day it happened everything was fine, like so many days we’ve shared before

I sent God’s Peace upon you, leant forward, kissed your forehead and walked out the door

Never for once in my wildest dreams I ever thought it was to be our last moment together

Every morning and night, I prayed for you to be around a lot longer, in fact, forever

Oh dad, you were taken from us so sudden

I wasn’t ready to live my life without your presence and for such a burden.

I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed me around

The moment mum found you on the bathroom floor, alone and unable to make a sound

Seeing you in hospital in such a way bought tears to my eyes

Never for a minute, earlier in the day

I thought I’d see your demise.

I was told to say my goodbyes and that it was time to for me to let you leave

But I never had the courage to say bye, as it was the hardest thing for me to believe.

How could they say, it was time for me to let you go

Didn’t they know how much I loved you and what you meant to me?

And that you still had so much to see and show.

You were taken from us way too fast

But the most precious thing to me was you being there for my first breath

And me being there for your last.

Dad, there are times to this day when I sit, at your photo I stare

Hopping one day when I look up you will be standing next to me.

As life without you is very hard to bear.

It’s painful when I think you’re not here and that we are kept apart

But dad, the memories I have off you and our time together help ease the pain I have in my heart.

Every time I drive by the cemetery, I’m hurting inside

I’m sorry I can’t bring myself to stop and give you my greetings

Believe me dad with all my courage, I have tried

One last thing, Dad, I really miss you, I wasn’t ready to say goodbye

It has never been the same since you left

Twelve years on I’m still unable to hold back and when I’m alone

I still cry.