When you come out of a long-term relationship it can be something that is hard and painful. When you have been used to life in a certain way and now that is what life is going to be like, there can almost be a grieving process that comes with it. Even if you are the person who instigated the breakup, it can be a process that you have to come to terms with. Whether you are ready for it or not, you will have been thrust into a whole new phase of life. If you want to move on and handle it well, with dignity and respect, then here are some of the things that you can do.

Be proud of the small things that you are doing

You may be used to your partner doing certain things for you. It might be that they did the DIY around the home, or they’d choose to do the majority of the driving on a road trip. It can sound silly, but when you see these things that you will now be doing, you should be proud of the little things that you are capable of doing. It is a good idea to congratulate yourself on the little moments that help you to feel independent. 

Decide whether you can still be friends

There are some exes that you can be friends with, and some that you will never want to hear from again. It will depend on how you broke up and what feelings there are for each other. If you didn’t lead the break up and you still love them, then it might be best to avoid being friends, for now at least; it is the kindest thing to do for yourself. It is important to not have a false sense of security. So only be friends with your ex if you really think that you can have a friendship, and only a friendship, with them. 

Get back out there

Again, this will depend on you and why the break up really happened. If things have been quite messy, then you might want to stay home, focus on yourself, and get over what has happened. If you are ready to get back out there and meet someone new, then it could be a good idea to get dating again. You might just want to go out with friends more and see who you meet, or you could look at using apps or even a mature dating site, for example. Being more social with colleagues and friends is a good place to start, as meeting friends of friends can make a difference.

Do the things that you love

It can be easy to think that you can’t carry on doing the things that you used to do as a couple. But if you love doing those things, don’t let that put you off. If you used to travel a lot together or go to a particular restaurant, then there is nothing to stop you from doing that if you enjoy it. Finding some new things that can be good, but don’t feel like things have to change if you don’t want them to.