We’re all guilty of thinking about the past. For many people some memories are hard to erase, especially those which define who we are today. When something triggers a moment of low self-esteem, our thoughts revolve around the hours sat weighing up pros and cons or being too afraid to take risks. Sometimes we wish we hadn’t taken something too seriously and other times we’re guilty of listening to the opinions of others but not our own. The ‘what if I did…? should I of…? what would happen if…?’ questions are a constant invitation to negative thoughts. When negativity receives the invitation it tends to bring along sadness and sadness brings anger which gives us regret and the night ends with blame and fault.

It’s easy to forget that everything has an opposite: day and night; good and bad; life and death, happy and sad. All emotions, the positive and the negative, take turns entering our lives. So it’s important to remember we can all be in control of our own path a little more securely. Accepting the negative takes up more energy, makes us weak and we forget the important things. Accepting the positive brings happiness, laughter and makes us stronger. When we embrace ‘happy’ everything seems easier and life less stressful. As the saying goes, ‘smile and the world smiles with you.’

It may be fate when plans don’t work out or maybe we just chose the wrong time to open ourselves up. Life is a journey and as we head along our path we’re surrounded by fields either side. It’s up to us to decide what to plant, when to water and who can visit. We are the ones who decide to pick up the rubbish that gets left behind. And when we do pick up the rubbish, we can either try and bin it forever or recycle; pain and mistakes can help us get strong. We can keep the past locked away, or we can use what we learn for the future. We choose who to invite onto our path and what surrounds us: if it’s doubt– ignore it; if it’s regret–ditch it; if it’s happiness –embrace it!  Let it bring love, laughter and smiles.

To blame ourselves for every tragic event is the first step to failure. We have to accept our mistakes in order to make new successes. Internalising everything makes us blind to the opportunities that come into our life. We have to accept our own faults before others can accept us. We must not live in regret; we must live knowing that there is always an opposite. Where there’s regret, there can be success.

The past that drove us to regret who, where or what we have become today can’t be changed. What we can change is the next minute, hour, week, month and year .The rest of your life. The future is yours to shape. With whom you spend that future and what dreams you make reality is up to you. Just ask yourself: what do you desire?