Britains Got…Yawwwwwn

April 23, 2012 1:20 pm

Being as cynical as the next man, it’s taken me a long time to come to the conclusion that Britain’s Got Talent is a massive money making vehicle for Simon Cowell, with so little attention paid to the talent that it’s almost painful. The only glimpse of the talent we really get is the reflection in his ridiculous sunglasses.

I’ve watched the show for several years, and always enjoyed it for a bit of light-hearted merriment; tittering at the “talent” and every now and then getting a taste of the sometimes brilliant and quirky acts lining up for either abuse or acclaim. However, last night, something simply clicked off in me. Having watched it for about an hour, and only seeing approximately 6 acts, a very depressing pattern was emerging; one act, five minutes of backstage nonsense (including several shots of Simon Cowell’s glittering teeth) and then about five minutes of adverts (usually the same one each time.) The only advantage one gains from watching the show in its entirety is that if you want a new sofa, they are usually advertised repeatedly.

Even the cheap laugh factor (no pun intended) that you normally get from watching the shamelessly untalented Brits prancing about on the stage is greatly diminished of late. Susan Boyle wowed the world when she stood on stage and unleashed her beautiful voice upon the nation. This was amazing, and caused quite a sensation around the world, but the problem is that it’s been done. Avid viewers will be able to spot the new acts coming from a mile off, based purely on the amount of exposure that they get before they take to the stage. This takes the surprise element out of it, which realistically was the only thing going for it. Now, we are subjected to five minutes of backstage nerves, sobbing back story, 30 seconds of performance, then 5 minutes of gushing from the panel (including bewilderingly Carmen Electra, standing in for Amanda Holden whilst she had her baby,) then several adverts for cheap sofas.

At the beginning, I was sceptical of the whole thing, before getting swept into the pantomime and then going off it entirely. I shall not be watching the rest of the series. I won’t be switching over to The Voice on the BBC and don’t want to comment on the rivalry between the two, only to suggest that perhaps the reason The Voice is spanking Britain’s Got Talent in the ratings is because we’ve seen it all before, and though The Voice only has a marginal change in format, it’s still interesting enough to keep people coming.

Ultimately, if I need to see new talent appear, then eventually Simon Cowell will sweep them up and have them all over each and every media platform anyway, so realistically, I no longer need to spend saturday nights waiting for it to come to me.

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