Thoughts during a bad date

July 6, 2014 9:50 am

Dates. You gotta love dates. Or not really. Like life, dates are a bittersweet thing. In one hand it’s great to sit there with a stranger and discover her/him, laugh about the same things, this, that, potato. But on the other hand, if the date isn’t going so well…let’s just say it can be quite awkward. During a recent date, or rather after it, I realised that during one of those, you really start thinking about such random things, and while it might seem rude from my side, you just can’t help if you don’t like someone. Especially when you go on a friendly drink but you realise the girl had entirely different ideas. So I decided to give an insight into the thought flow during a 4 hour kinda bad date.

“Yup, that’s her I think, she said red hair. Whoa, we got a huger! Oh god, what’s that on her face? It looks like she slammed her head into a bag of powder. Why is she hissing at me all the time? Wait a second…am I on a date?! Fuck. No, I don’t want to hear about your fascination with Twilight when you were younger. You were on team Edward?! Team Alpaca boy all the way! And no, you are not a vampire. I wonder if I closed the windows, it looks like it might rain. Think of it, I should clean the windows as well. Someday. My pants are dirty; I hope she didn’t notice. These socks look funny with these pants. Why is she trying to touch my foot all the time? Spider pig, spider pig, does whatever a Spider pig does. New Spiderman is out. I wonder if it sucks. I didn’t like this Garfield guy in the first one. Tobey was awesome. I wish I was Spiderman. I would just sling out of here. If white people are white cause of the lack of the sun and black people black cause of the extra sun..why the hell are Asians yellow? The trees look so relaxing. I wish I was a tree. Just standing there, photosynthesising the shit out of that air. Or an Ent. I wanna play Warcraft now. Jesus, it’s been 3 hours already, I wanna go home! If a goat and a sheep would have a fight, who would win? Or a goat with lasers and a sheep with a rocket launcher! Or a ninja goat! These lumps, I know you want to slump upon these lumps, but you can’t because you’re a chump, these lumps, so go on back to your dump. I wonder what Finn and Jake would do now. Those guys are funny.. Why is the Regular show called the regular show? There is nothing regular about it.  I’m hungry, I wanna eat something. My fridge is empty, I should buy stuff. Do I have any milk? Yay, finally it’s over I get to go home! Wait wait wait, when did I say we can meet again?! Oh, then..I should really start listening..”

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