Ten Years of Friendship

October 16, 2013 1:13 pm

On the 4th September 2013 I celebrated possibly the best anniversary I am yet to have. It was not a anniversary shared with a boyfriend or loved one, nor was it an anniversary to commemorate a special event. It was simply the ten year anniversary of starting secondary school. Now, I know that may not seem particularly interesting – it’s an occasion most people will reach and pass without noticing. However, on that day ten years ago I was unwittingly sat in a classroom with nine other girls that were to become, not only an integral part of my growing up, but also my favourite people in all the world. From that day forth our group began to twist and form into the family we are today. Although things may have changed a bit, I feel that ten years on, a strong group of ten is pretty impressive. This is what got me thinking.


Having such a tightly knit group, I cannot began to fathom what my life would be without them. How then is it, that some girls (and boys for that matter) abandon their friends for other ventures? I use the word ventures loosely. More often than not it is not due to a move in location, a new job or even a new partner. Sometimes the cause may be one of those things, but the majority of the tim, it is not. Life factors may affect a friendship but on a deeper, more sophisticated level it comes down to a lack of effort on one or both parts.

Do not misunderstand me, I agree that sometimes people change and therefore their friendship diminishes, but I do take umbrage to the saying ‘drift apart’. The word ‘drift’ undoubtedly conjures images of two friends on separate planks of wood, slowly floating away from one another in a titanic-esque type scenario. Yet, drifting seems to me an involuntary movement that one has no control over. Yet, who one chooses to keep in their life is, undeniably, voluntary.
Taking this into consideration, I believe that it makes friendships more special because they are the people that we have chosen to share a partnership with. We have consciously decided, for one reason or another, to bind ourselves to the other person so not to ‘drift’ into the sea of unwanted friendships. Ten years down the line and as a group we have seen each other through the best and worst times of our lives. We’ve traveled together, studied together, had hospital visits, police visits, angry mum visits and piercing shop visits together yet we still continue to become more like a family every year. We fight, we bitch, we moan but then we are girls. Some of us have moved to university and back, some of us have started our careers. Although I continue to meet new and exciting people who, in some cases,become just as close, my school friends continue to be my anchor in my ever-changing life. Boyfriends, jobs and money all come and go but I know that no matter what happens I will always have my nine girls to be there for me and to pass me the vodka when it’s severely needed.Ten years later and plenty more to come- these are the type of friends I could never want to ‘drift’ away from.

  • ChrisRobinson

    Thought provoking. My stepson still has most of his classmates regularly in touch, and he married one of them! His best man was one of them and his former ‘ex’ was also an old classmate who married ANOTHER mutual classmate and they’re ALL mates together. To me, this is strange, or maybe I’m the one who’s strange? I have absolutely no contact with any of my school friends, although, down the years I’ve ‘bumped’ into some of them and got on okay despite the changes. But I’ve always moved on and made new friends, then, when I’ve moved around, I’ve met new people and made new friends. I’ve noticed I’ve ‘filtered out ‘friends’ and ‘really good friends’ who are the type that, if it is ten years since I’ve seen them, when we meet up again, it’s like ‘yesterday’.

    I guess people who keep life long friendships or do as I’ve done aren’t REALLY ‘strange’ when I think about it, we’re just different.

    • Andrew Smithson

      See I’m half and half. From my first school, I am still mates with over half my class, and very close to several of them (live with two of them), but from my secondary school, although I was really good friends with people whilst I was there, I haven’t really kept in contact with any of them (8 years on).

      I guess some people you just make real bonds with and it is kind of random where or how that happens.

      Nice article though, does make you think. Friends of any kind are v. important to us all!

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