Movie 43 – Waste of the Talent

February 11, 2013 5:00 pm

movie 43To be fair, I should have known, really, with the fact that the main thing Movie 43 was screaming was how many known names and faces were in it, instead of anything whatsoever to do with the plot, characters and theme – that this movie was going to suck.

And it actually does take a majorly bad script to have so many great, talented actors and actresses all on one screen doing their usual glittery thing, for the movie to be as uncommonly bad as it was. My first guess is that the pay packets were so good to the actors concerned that they didn’t read much past their own few lines. Sadly, this is another example of Hollywood’s dumbing-down technique for its audience, thinking that throwing a bunch of money, gimmicks, names and stories at a movie theatre will actually work.

I would hate to be one of the investors waiting for my return on THAT movie.

The movie runs as you would expect a non-illustrated, overly long episode of American Dad or South Park to run. Except that this really wasn’t that funny at all. I can usually tell something’s somewhat obscene when my mother doesn’t want to watch a show. Those two, she doesn’t watch. She’d probably have a coronary if she watched Movie 43.

Peter Farelly (of Shallow Hal & Hall Pass producing fame) doesn’t fail to disappoint, as both of those aforementioned movies were also un-funny, offensive trash, but you’d think Charles Wessler, who produced hits like ‘There’s Something About Mary’ and ‘Dumb & Dumber’ would have known slightly better.

hugh jackman movie 43The movie begins with teenage kids pranking each other, which leads the elder teenager to stage the ultimate prank and challenge his geeky, supremely intelligent younger brother to find a movie called Movie 43 so he can get him back and fill his laptop with viruses. The teenagers go through a bunch of short movies and stories which all feature the famous actors in various strange scenarios. From Hugh Jackman oblivious to the fact that Kate Winslet is repelled by the fact he has balls hanging from his neck, to Naomi Watts homeschooling and committing incest with her son, to Anna Faris wanting her boyfriend to take a dump on her. Essentially, the movie contains a lot of little other movies aimed at shock value and not much else. Gerard Butler turns up as a leprechaun. And in the same scene, a fairy turns up who declares she ‘sucks cocks for gold coins’.

The smaller scenes, in of themselves, are passable, but putting them all together just makes you feel as if you’re being pelted with more obscenity. More than is necessary.

My best advice is to ignore that poster on the wall and don’t go and see it. If you really want to see just how much of a ridiculous, waste-of-time film it is, go watch it over at a friends house once it’s out on Blu-ray, but DON’T spend your money on it. Not worth it at all.

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