How To Beat Facebook Blues

June 5, 2013 1:17 pm

One of my New Year’s Resolutions this year was to spend much less time on Facebook.  For the first few weeks, as is the wont of many a resolution, things went swimmingly and I was barely on it at all.  Then I needed to connect with a couple of people whose phones were dead.  And a couple of people whose emails I’d not saved.  And then I got tagged a couple of times, and I had to obviously approve of those photos and notes.  And comment on a couple.  And then get back to others comments about their replies.  Etc. etc.  At this point, as I spend every spare moment between tasks on either CafeWorld or Game Of Thrones Ascent and update my status an average of five (if not six) times a day.facebook-mensajes-privados

But believe it or not, I’m not so bothered about the fact that I broke my resolution so monumentally.  The actual reason I tried to rid myself of Facebook was because it was proving superbly bad for my ego.  As is the way of it, we compare our own lives with those whose status updates we read, 50% of which is absolute rubbish and about 45% of which is exaggerated truths at best.  If we judge ourselves by other people’s best days, especially when we are having a very bad day – which these magical people on the land of Facebook only celebrate now and again – of course we’re going to get problems.  Of course if we state an opinion, someone somewhere is going to disagree with us, and someone is going to want to comment on this and make us either look like idiots in front of everyone else who can read our updates, or just say something which may be hurtful and cause drama.  And if you’ve put on a couple of pounds and are avoiding the camera, while one of your lucky friends is off in the Maldives with a tan to die for and give Kelly Brook a run for her money in the figure department, again, you’re going to have a problem.

So how do you do the impossible?  How do you stay on Facebook and maintain a presence on the one network that everyone and their dog seems to be on without getting so stressed and upset and emotionally exhausted that you end up depressed or just giving up on it?

It’s all a matter of perspective…:

1. Remember everyone is bullshitting most of the time.  They have an image to maintain, just as you do.

2. If they’re on Facebook in the first place, that’s a good indicator that they’ve got nothing better to do at that point. Like half the things they’re saying (see above).

3. Just because you are having a bad day and they just won the lottery, doesn’t mean the situation can’t be seen from the other end as well.  The minute you put your good news up on Facebook and attract a good forty likes, they might be having one of their off days, wishing they were you.

4. Go a day without it.  You won’t miss the bitching, but you may miss out on some important info or some messages.  If, however, that is unlikely to happen, see how long you can go without it to get yourself out of the ‘headspace’ of Facebook, which can feel quite oppressive.

5. ‘Like’ some more things on there.  Things that will make you laugh or that often post pictures, memes or messages that brighten up your day.  These will take your attention away from the fact you’re the only girl in your peer group who seemingly still hasn’t settled down, got married and is expecting her first baby this autumn, and remind you that such things are only as important as you make them!  Ditch your green-eyed monster by using Facebook to compare your story with others’.  Everything in its time…

6. Give yourself ‘Facebook Time’.  Ten or fifteen minutes a day, in which is the only window you can actually go on it.  The rest of the time, stay off it and be really strict with yourself.  Reward yourself with something nice and nomful when you stick to your goal, or spend your time on Youtube instead!

7. This may just be for the hippies like me, but try abandoning technology altogether for a little while.  That way, it won’t feel so overwhelming when you need to come back to it.  I have days where everything – phone, iPod, tv, computer, everything! – is out of sight and I spend it hammering on with my productivity.  I then spend a few minutes the next day catching up with people’s news on Facebook and that actually reminds me why I find it fun!

Okay, so, yes, I get a little obsessed, but Facebook is just like chocolate, wine or sex: a little of what you fancy does you good.  But too much of it ceases to be a good thing!

And remember, don’t blame Facebook itself!  It’s connected us brilliantly like nothing else!

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