10 Reasons Why George Osborne Shouldn’t Be Chancellor.

March 8, 2013 3:10 pm

george osborneI know we shouldn’t blame all of our economic woes on the haughty George Osborne, but someone’s got to own up:

1. He told us that the most important thing is that we keep our triple A credit rating and now we have lost it. So he has failed. For one, he looks incredibly foolish – why did he place so much emphasis on it when he must have known there was a risk Britain might lose it and that he would look imprudent? And secondly, his system of measuring economic success was predicated on the opinion of discredited and corrupt ratings agencies who didn’t appear to see the financial crisis coming, or if they did, they just stuck their fingers in their ears, closed their eyes and ignored it. Thirdly, to people who have had their hours cut, who can’t pay the bills, who are having to get their food at food banks, these ratings mean diddly-squat, which shows how out of touch the chancellor is.

2. He could not admit he got it wrong, in fact he was vindicated; it was proof that the government should continue on the austerity path, cutting ‘harder and faster’.

3. He changed his name from Gideon to George because he didn’t think anyone would vote for a Gideon, which shows that he is concerned with power, not actually helping anyone.

4. He has just told Europe that Britain like to give bankers big bonuses and don’t want a cap on these bonuses. Mr Osborne, WE don’t like giving bankers big bonuses, you do. Anyway, the cap was accepted by every other country, so as always, he achieved nothing. Last week, RBS, a bank that the taxpayer owns 82% of, paid its executives huge salaries after making a loss. The government approved these salaries on behalf of the taxpayer, at the same time as they cut benefits for the poorest.

5. He spends a lot of time walking around in a fluorescent jacket and hardhat, looking thoughtfully at bits of machinery. He doesn’t appear to do any work, which is probably why the economy is down the toilet.

6. Osborne is one of those who spent the first two years of parliament blaming the last Labour government for the state of the economy, but now it is happening under his watch, he blames external forces: the EU, the world, the universe. Funny how the narrative has changed.

7. He doesn’t actually give two hoots about the future for the rest of us. He’s not interested in tackling climate change, and will not take seriously the opportunities offered by renewable energy and the possibilities for growth if he invested in it. Hence he has no vision.

8. The figures he offers are manipulations of the data. Unemployment is going down, but there are more people underemployed and he never attempts to address this. Private sector jobs have been created, but a lot have just been transferred from the public to the private sector. He included in his budget last year something that didn’t actually exist at the time – a grossly exaggerated figure for the sale of the 4G spectrum, which turned out to be 1.2billion out.

9. He is a key instigator of the skivers v strivers debate, spouting garbage about the neighbours next door with their blinds down, taking taxpayer’s hard earned cash. He lights the match, then steps back and watches the carnage, knowing he is well above it all.

10. He has presided over 0.2% growth in his time as chancellor, has actually managed to increase borrowing, and has absolutely nothing to show for it.

Then again, maybe this is all part of the plan; Peter Wilby makes an excellent case in the NewStatesman for Osborne. He is actually a big green leftie – more part time jobs has meant more leisure time, less income cures us of our obsession with consumption and no growth means less damage to the environment. Perhaps, in years to come, we will look back on ‘Slasher’ and hail him as a hero of the left!

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  • Evenstephen

    Oh dear Harriet! You sound like a first-year socialist. A number of your points like 3. and 5. rather give your little prejudices away! Such a pity as I am sure you were hoping to be taken seriously and get a 2.2

  • HarrietAW

    haha! Thank you for your constructive criticism.

  • johngj

    great article, humourous and very enjoyanle to read (and true)

  • johngj

    Stephen you sound either like an idiot or bitter you got rejected from oxbridge – or both. Go do something constructive with your life.

  • OK Harriet, I agree GO shouldn’t be chancellor, but some of these are a little thin, no?

    “He changed his name from Gideon to George because he didn’t think anyone
    would vote for a Gideon, which shows that he is concerned with power,
    not actually helping anyone.”
    Maybe he genuinely believes he can help people by being an MP, and made the pragmatic decision to increase his electability in order to reach that end?
    Besides, he actually changed his name when he was 13 because he (understandably) thought ‘Gideon’ was ridiculous.

    Point 5 is presumably a joke?

    “7. He doesn’t actually give two hoots about the future for the rest of
    us. He’s not interested in tackling climate change, and will not take
    seriously the opportunities offered by renewable energy and the
    possibilities for growth if he invested in it. Hence he has no vision.”
    This is hard to believe. Whilst I utterly disagree with the austerity policy, it certainly takes political mettle and belief that it will achieve growth. If GO was just a power-hungry megalomaniac, rather than cuts which Everyone knew would be unpopular, he’d have let everything chug on as usual or borrow more. And he has just started a £100 mil Green Investment Bank, and his gov’t continues to subsidise wind power massively. Besides, this isn’t actually his responsibility, he isn’t environment or energy minister.

    Amusing conclusion almost makes up for this.

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